Waiting for major life events has always been a challenge for me. I am a planner, and when life doesn’t stick to my plan’s schedule, I struggle to find patience.

My life plan began well. I graduated from college, got married, and began my teaching career on schedule. The next step was to have my first child born in March of my fifth year of teaching, so that I could use the sick days I had accumulated (I never used a sick day up to that point) and then stay home to be a full time mom. I wanted to have one or two more kids soon afterwards.

But my life’s train jumped the track. Years of waiting, doctor visits, miscarriage, and heartbreak finally resulted in two beautiful kids. They arrived off schedule with unplanned detours. And while there are many painful days I do not care to relive, I look back and see that God used that time to help me grow.

Many years later, my life is taking another unexpected detour. The twists and turns I’ve struggled through lately have been confusing and exhausting. My patience is being stretched and I find myself questioning my God who has proved Himself over and over.

But who am I to think I had achieved patience mastery and no longer need to go through times of growth? My roots need to go deeper and my branches need to stretch higher. I think I need to know everything that is going on, but I don’t. I need patience. I need to trust God and prove that trust by refusing to worry. James 1:4 says, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

So I give my hopes and dreams to God, trusting that His ways and timing are better than my own. This is not easy, and I will need scripture to help me keep my hands off. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.” A favorite verse of mine is Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” Another verse I will cling to is Habbukuk (yes, Habbukuk) 2:3. “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!”

Here is to being patient with life events in the New Year! Work out what You will, when You will, God. I will wait on You.