I stopped mid-sentence.
Was he even listening to me? His eyes were scrolling text messages on his phone, and he didn’t seem to notice that my mouth was now clamped shut. I’d been in the middle of answering his question for crying out loud.
I scowled and began talking again. “So I decided to take a month off work to hitch-hike and swim until I reached Australia so I could finally find a blue-ringed octopus for Hannah though if it bit me I’d be paralyzed for the rest of the day but that would give me time to think about my next book and give you time to paint the house a bright pink. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“And when I get back I thought I’d finally get Cheyenne a Siberian Husky friend and put you in charge of training it and then we’d start having spinach every night because I know how much you love eating it—”
He looked up suddenly. “What was that?”
Ever been there? I hate to admit it, but I’ve also been the one who wasn’t truly listening. I’m currently trying to work on being an active listener.
Last week I shared a “Personal Inventory” list of questions to trigger more communication with family members. Hopefully conversation is flowing with your loved ones. Here are some active listening skills we can use to keep it going.
- Give your undivided attention
- Use attentive body language
- Avoid interrupting
- Give verbal reinforcement
- Ask questions for clarification
- Reflect by paraphrasing or summarizing
- Respond respectfully
I’ll dig into each of these skills deeper in the weeks to come. I need to stop for now as my daughter is talking to me and I need to follow my own advice by actively listening.