Poison=Man Arm

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One arm merely turned rosy and splotchy, but the other arm doubled in size. My teenage daughter looked like she had sprouted an overweight man’s arm. Disturbing. By the next day, her face and much of her body was swollen, red, and scaly. She could not stop scratching and wanted to hibernate from the world.

What caused her outbreak? Our team was finishing a rewarding week serving with One Heart Many Hands. My hard-working girl was painting the cement foundation of a house. She tore out some weeds that were in the way, and then paused to pet the cat that seemed to be inspecting her work.

When her team left the job site for the day, she started scratching her arm. She assumed petting the cat made her itch, so she washed her hands. More scratching. She took allergy medicine and smeared anti-itch cream over her arms. It didn’t help. Next thing you knew, she had a man arm.

Several other people at her job site started scratching. You probably already guessed the culprit. The weeds turned out to be poison ivy. My daughter, who had never run into the pesky weed before, is allergic to it. Great.

One of my friends gave me a tube of Zanfel to wash the urushiol from my daughter’s skin (and from my own because it got on me when I was helping her). Oh, blessed relief. A doctor then prescribed steroids for my poor girl. After four days, her arm almost looks like it belongs to her.

I’m trying to make something good come out of our ivy battle, so here are the practical lessons we learned:

  1. Be able to actually identify poison ivy, sumac, and oak.
  2. Know how to treat it immediately (I’m not a Zanfel commercial but it really helped) so the poison doesn’t get into your blood stream (especially if you are allergic).

And here’s how I can apply it to life: Negative thoughts can be just as poisonous as poison ivy. If we don’t tame them right away, they can fester and infect our entire way of thinking. In a previous blog about stinking thinking (http://www.tamibrumbaugh.com/?p=547) I mentioned a scripture that helps me fight off negative thoughts. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV). I also shared my plan to fight the stinking thinking: A negative thought pops into my head. I realize it, grab it, and tell myself to be done with it. I then pump in positive thoughts.

So no more poison, physical or mental. And please no more man arms.

Independence

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Independence Day usually makes me think about flags waving, fireworks, barbecue, and homemade pretzels (our family tradition). After just getting back from serving with One Heart Many Hands, my thoughts have drifted onto an independence tangent. Why? Because we were with teens. Nearly one hundred of them. Day and night. For seven days straight.

You may wonder whatever possessed us to go on an adventure with teens. If you met my husband, you might understand part of his motivation. He’s a big kid at heart and loves the opportunity to act wild and crazy and be applauded for it. He’s quite the entertainer. I’m better in small groups or one on one or behind the scenes. Regardless of personality type, both of us know teens are at a crucial stage of development.

The teens in our group ranged in age from 12 to 18. It was fascinating to see where each student was in the quest for independence. Some had never been away from parents for an extended period of time, while others had been on many expeditions without family and were prepared to leave for college in the fall.

The service experience helped all of them explore the type of person they could become. They were thrust out of their comfort zone, giving up private rooms and hours to escape into the internet. Their eyes were focused on the needs of others. They saw poverty and felt the actual rotting wood and crumbling cement of decaying homes. They actively helped make living conditions better for people they just met. They learned to work even when they were tired, bruised, or itching from poison ivy. They discovered how it felt to be a productive member of society. An added bonus of being part of One Heart Many Hands was that they saw a ripple effect where their small effort fed into a flood of kindness from people all over the United States.

I’m proud our country declared independence back in 1776. I’m also proud that we have teens exploring their independence in positive ways. Instead of complaining about the direction teens are headed, let’s keep providing them with opportunities to develop into compassionate, hard-working adults.

Many Hands

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A decaying garage, piles of trash, and unruly trees towered over our team. After a long day of traveling by bus, we were eager to get to work, but this was a daunting task. We only had four days to get the job done.

A sweet man with a gray and white beard greeted us. He studied my husband and me and our small team of twelve teens. “I appreciate any help you can give, even if you can’t tear the whole garage down.”

We peaked inside the garage. It was full of rusted tools, broken lamps, discarded cook books, a guinea pig cage, and other forgotten items. Our new friend didn’t want to keep any of it. The dumpster hadn’t arrived yet, so we piled everything into a heap beside the garage. The teens all took turns pounding on the walls with sledge hammers, breaking off siding. Before we knew it, the garage tumbled to the ground.

Once the dumpster arrived, our team worked together to pull apart the garage and toss the wood, shingles, and discarded objects inside. We worked through a rain storm and ignored sore muscles. After less than two days, the garage was gone. The trash was gone. The trees were chopped. We were able to do bonus assignments on other houses in the neighborhood.

Our group of fourteen easily completed a task that was overwhelming for our friend. And get this—we actually had 102 teens and adults just from our church serving throughout the neighborhood at the same time. It gets even better. We were just a small part of One Heart Many Hands (https://oneheartmanyhands.com/). There were actually over 1,500 people serving in Indianapolis that week. Talk about making a difference!

One lesson I learned through it all, is that we don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes our journey through life will seem overwhelming, but we can lift each other up. An impossible situation can become manageable with the help of others. It’s okay to ask for help, and it feels wonderful to help people in need.

The teens from our group watched High School Musical on the drive home. Many of us groaned when it started playing, yet sat and watched it all. Now I have the lyrics from the final song stuck in my head: we’re all in this together.

So bring it on. With many hands, we can get it done.

Lessons Learned in the Autism Room: Appreciate the Little Things

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Sometimes it’s encouraging to be looked at with obvious admiration. I have to admit, it has been a while since my appearance literally made someone’s jaw drop. All it took was for me to alter my appearance entirely—by dressing up as Pete the Cat.

Every adult in the Autism Room decided to work together and wear homemade Pete the Cat costumes for Halloween.  We’ve read the books many times to our autistic friends and have found the cool cat is well-loved.

I walked through our door clad in dark blue and yellow, adjusting my hat adorned with huge eyes and ears. A few kids looked at me in confusion but returned to their table toys. One friend however gasped deep and long, dropping his blueberry muffin on the floor. His fists tightened and rose in the air as his smile grew. He approached me slowly, soaking it all in. My smile matched his as he fingered my oversized turqouise, blue, green, and red buttons. He squatted down to look at my Converse high-tops and peaked behind me in search of a tail. His eyes sparkled when he found the blue stuffed sock safety-pinned to my shirt.

You would think that his amazement would fade as each teacher walked into the room dressed in a similar costume. But no—his wonder only grew. He was in Pete the Cat heaven. Every bit of extra effort was worth it after witnessing his excitement.

How many times have I been like the rest of the class and barely paid attention to the surprises and blessings of life? I want to gasp in wonder at God’s creation and truly soak in the beautiful handiwork surrounding me. Here’s to enjoying the colors in sunsets and the fragrance of flowers. Here’s to listening to the cardinal’s song and feeling the blades of grass tickle my feet. Here’s to noticing the acts of kindness from people passing by.

Thank you, my sweet friend, for being awestruck by my simple costume, and reminding me to truly appreciate the good around me.

Lessons Learned in the Autism Room: End Fixations

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Fixations are an issue in the Autism Room. Many of our students will get a thought stuck inside their head that they just can’t shake. It hardens like concrete and becomes an obsession. They often need help moving on so they can think about something else.

One of our little boys went through a phase where he fixated on CD players. He was verbal and would ask about the device continually. He would then check on it during transitions and want it opened. He was mainstreamed into another Special Education class for part of the afternoon, and would immediately walk to their CD player and want to change the CD that was going to be played during circle time. Every two minutes he would be back to open it again. During center time, he had access to train tracks, blocks, cars, puzzles, and tub toys, but there were days were all he could think about was that CD player.

Redirecting him became a constant chore. We tried covering the device with a blanket or blocking it from view with a book. Not helpful. We tried letting him have full access to it for a short time to see if he would grow tired of it and move on. Failure. Finally we had to remove the CD player from the room. Oh my. He had a complete meltdown. Repeatedly. For long periods of time. But eventually he stopped asking about it. One day, we were able to sneak the CD player back into the room.

My fixations are not as intense, but they still exist. I am a very sequential person, and when I’m waiting on something, I have a hard time focusing on anything else. I’ve been waiting on an answer for several weeks now, and find myself checking my phone, email, and the internet over and over every day. Most of my conversations morph into my desire for an answer.

Thinking about my autistic friend reminds me that I need to control my thoughts before they become obsessive. I can check for a response once a day. After that, I should redirect my thoughts and find joy in the present. I will strive to treat my fixation like the CD player and remove it from the room. Anybody else have an obsession that needs to go?

Lesson Learned in the Autism Room: Lower Stress

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In the Autism Room, each student has certain activities that are calming and sometimes prevent tantrums. For some it’s drawing, for others it’s looking at books based on numbers. Some students like to put magnetic letters in order.

One sweet boy loves to play with sensory rice. We have several clear plastic tubs the size of a shoebox that are partially filled with rice. Some tubs also have sand mixed in. Each tub has an assortment of scoops, spoons, or paintbrushes. There are often small plastic toys or shells in the mix.

My friend loves to stir and scoop the rice back and forth in the tub. Sometimes he’ll bury toys or his hands. Even if he was frustrated and screaming moments before, he quickly calms down when he has access to the sensory tub.

He reminds me that we all need to find what lowers our stress and use it to stay happy and healthy. I just completed a summer conference for teachers. One of the classes focused on calming the raging storms of stress. The presenter (LeAnn Nickelsen) informed us that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it. We need to have a stress toolbox that we can use to manage our stress. Some tools she suggested included exercise, finding your passion, writing, visualization, breathing, and listening to relaxing music. One song in particular that is specifically designed for relaxation (and recommended by neuroscientists) is “Weightless” by Marconi Union. I am listening to it right now, and find it very relaxing. Feel free to check it out.

I’m thankful for the reminder to take time to find something relaxing to lower my stress. Experts agree with you, my little autistic friend. So keep playing with the rice. I will listen to music. And we will both be healthier because of it.

Lessons Learned in the Autism Room: Time to Celebrate!

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Some days are worth celebrating. In the Autism Room, like in classrooms everywhere, it is the last day of school.

How did we celebrate? Our regular individualized programming was placed on hold. No more receptive identification, matching, sorting, expressive identification, motor imitation…Instead we had group projects and play time.

We made play doh, slime, and erupting volcanoes. We danced and sang. We caught bubbles and drew on sidewalks with chalk. We had free play time inside and out on the playground. For the grand finale, we covered a section of the floor with soft mats and sprayed the mats with can after can of shaving cream. Our little friends tossed their shoes and socks aside and began sliding on the mats. All of the teachers created a human wall around the mats so no child could fall on the hard floor or escape to leave a trail of shaving cream footprints behind them.

Some kids dove right in. (We’re talking full-belly slide.) Some were cautious at first, but gradually grew bolder as they stomped, tip-toed, and slid around. They were soon foamy white from head to toe. Did they mind? No. Did the teachers mind? No. Shaving cream is washable (and leaves behind a fresh minty scent.) The pure abandon and joy on each face was worth all the extra cleaning effort.

There are days where we need to celebrate life. The daily grind can weigh heavy on our backs. We all have crazy schedules and too much pressure. The “to-do list” stretches on and on. No matter how old we are, there are days where we need to shove our burdens aside and just relax and have fun.

I hope all of you get a chance to break from routine at least a few times this summer. You deserve it! Life is worth celebrating—with or without the shaving cream.

Lessons Learned in the Autism Room: Think Outside the Box

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Many of our students eat their breakfast in the Autism Room. They sit on wooden or plastic chairs scooted up close to a round table. Some of our kids have digestive issues, so they drink almond milk, or have to eat gluten free muffins or cereal. Some have to be convinced to try eating anything beyond cheesy Goldfish or Veggie Straws.

One of our students will eat most foods, but he often does it with his own style. A few days ago, he was served apple juice, Apple Jacks cereal, and peaches. He pushed the peaches aside, not enjoying the taste or the sticky finger risk. He asked for assistance opening his cartoon of juice, and quickly began peeling the paper wrapper off his skinny straw. Once he jammed the straw into the juice carton, he set to work. One by one, he slid the Apple Jacks cereal onto his straw until it was completely covered. Only then would he sip the juice while nibbling on the cereal.

Observing the kids around him eating cereal from a bowl with a spoon, or directly from an individualized bag did not detour him from his creative method. He made me wonder: How many times have I done something in a particular way just because that’s how those around me are doing it?

There are moments when doing the same thing the same way as everyone else makes sense, or might even be required. But there are also times when we can stretch our creativity muscles. We can let our uniqueness bubble to the surface. Why not make life more interesting?

So keep stacking those Apple Jacks on your straw, my friend. Thank you for the reminder that we can be creative in a bowl and spoon environment.

Lessons Learned in the Autism Room: Releasing Anger

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Explosions are part of the Autism Room. Anger explosions, that is. Many of our students have short fuses and it doesn’t take much to light them. An intricate Lego tower could topple. A schedule could change. A piece of banana bread could be torn in half. Play could be interrupted with work. Suddenly, a student may start beating his chest and screaming, or throwing himself on the floor kicking, or trying to hit his head on the wall.

We teach our students how to deal with their anger. We help them squeeze their hands together, or hit the table with their hands, or stomp the floor. They can also choose a calming strategy such as breathing exercises, climbing into a body sock (similar to a sleeping bag but made out of thin Lycra material), or going to a safe spot with pillows and books.

We must act quickly or the explosion could last for a long time. If the kids release their anger constructively right away, they can often move on and still have a productive day.

So how do I apply this to my life? It’s better to deal with anger in a healthy way right from the start so I can move on. I generally have a long fuse, but recently I had some disappointing news that wrecked havoc on my future plans. I tried to carry on as if nothing was wrong, but I’ve found my fuse is still sizzling and I’m not happy. I need to deal with my anger so I can find joy again.

How am I choosing to do that? I’m sitting on a beach towel in a secluded part of a park (while waiting for my daughter’s friend outing to end). Only my dog can see me. I’m writing (my greatest release) and literally stomping my feet and pounding the ground. Don’t judge me—it really does help. I still have some huge question marks, but at least my pressure valve has been twisted off and I can release my anger.

Thank you for the reminder, my autistic friends. I’m practicing what I preach—and I feel better.

Lessons learned in the Autism Room: There’s Always Something to Sing About

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Our Autism Room is brimming with interesting sounds. Many of our students enter our room at three years of age and leave when they are ready for kindergarten. They often start out as nonverbal, so you might assume the room is quiet. Not so.

Most of the time, you hear adult voices modeling words and young voices trying to talk. Each student receives one-on-one personalized training, so with eighteen people, it can get loud. Sometimes you hear screams of frustration (from the kids, not the adults—though our patience is also tested). Occasionally, you hear singing (from the kids AND the adults). Maybe it’s because of my years as a music teacher, but hearing little ones sing brightens my day.

There is one small boy in particular whose singing makes me smile. He hasn’t started talking yet, but that doesn’t stop him from sharing the song in his heart. Sometimes he hums. Other times he uses sounds like “duh-gah duh-gah” to fit the tune. His singing is contagious and I often join in. I’ve found that both of us feel better afterwards.

What does he sing about? I’m not always sure, but sometimes I recognize the song. His favorites include You Are My Sunshine, We Are the Champions, Here I Come to Worship, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I’m guessing many of his tunes are originals that he composed.

He reminds me that there is always a reason to sing. We all have challenges and go through hard times. If we focus on the bad, we can easily become depressed. But if we look for the good, we will find something to sing about. Our grateful attitude will seep out through a song or a smile and spread to others. Why add complaining to a noisy room, when we can be singing?

So keep singing, sweet boy. I wouldn’t be surprised if music opens the door to your vocabulary. Either way, thank you for reminding me (and now others) that there is always something to sing about.