One of the greatest gifts we can give to each other is to be an active listener. When I walk away from a conversation knowing that I was truly heard, I feel valued and my confidence grows. If I was having a dark day, it becomes brighter.
When my teenagers talk to me, I can chose to give distracted, small effort answers, or make a concerted effort to show that I’m listening. My choice influences whether they continue to open up to me. All too soon they will graduate and move out on their own. I want to make the most of our conversations. While I’m at it, I will strive to become a better listener when communicating with people of every age. Care to join me?
Here are 7 verbal active listening skills:
- Give verbal reinforcement
“Yes,” “Mmm hmm”
- Reflect by paraphrasing
“What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…”
- Attempt summarizing
Take main points of the message and reiterate them in a clear way
- Ask questions for clarification
“What do you mean when you say…” and “Is this what you mean?”
- Respond respectfully
Be open and honest. If you need to give your opinion, do it respectfully.
- Remember key points
Bring them up in future conversations
- Attribute their ideas when speaking to others
“Actually, I heard _____ say it. She’s so clever!”