Tag Archives: complaining

Positive Attitude Action Plan

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After 16 weeks of striving to develop a positive attitude, I’ve found that it still doesn’t come easily, but it is coming easier. I hope it’s easier for you to be positive as well. If you missed any of my blogs on the subject, please refer back to my website at www.TamiBrumbaugh.com.

Here is a review of the main points we practiced and my plan for keeping it going.

  1. Stop the stinking thinking. You have control over your thoughts. Catch them before they get off track and send you into a spiral. MY PLAN: When a negative thought pops into my head I realize it, grab it, and tell myself to be done with it.
  2. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Count your blessings. What are you thankful for? MY PLAN: My family and I are still writing blessings on small pieces of paper and placing them into our Blessing Jar. We will read them on Thanksgiving.
  3. Accept that life isn’t fair and move on. God will help you through it. MY PLAN: I will remember that fair doesn’t mean equal, and that comparing myself to others will only make me unhappy.
  4. Get exercise. Release those endorphins. A workout or a walk outside can do wonders. MY PLAN: In addition to my regular walks and workouts, I am still doing yoga moves whenever I have a spare moment.
  5. Find a way to help others. It gets your mind off yourself. MY PLAN: I refer back to the list of 30 ways to focus on others whenever I am struggling for ideas.
  6. Stop whining and complaining. It brings others down. MY PLAN: I use the Complaint Vent Journal when I need to whine a bit.
  7. Pump in the good. Listen to positive music. Read a positive book. Talk to a positive person. Pray. MY PLAN: I’ve put the 25 songs with positive messages on my phone, and hope to add more as I stumble across them.

For those of you who have mastered all seven suggestions, God bless you. For the rest of us mere mortals, keep striving. With continual effort, we can become positive people.

Complaint Vent Journal

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I knew complaining was going to be a hard habit to break, so I figured extra motivation was required. A visual reminder was what I needed to keep my goal front and center, so maybe it will help you, too. Last week I mentioned seven methods to decrease complaining. I’ll list them again in case you need them.

  1. Tell close family or friends about your decrease whining goal so you are held accountable.
  2. Transform complaints into solutions. If there is something that will help the problem—do it.
  3. Change “have to” to “get to”.
  4. When you discover yourself whining, add a “but” and say something positive.
  5. Distance yourself from chronic complainers. (At least during your own complaint detox.)
  6. If you must vent, do it on paper so it doesn’t affect others.
  7. Don’t give up if you don’t suddenly stop whining. Keep trying.

I didn’t want these to be empty words that sat on the page, so I determined to put them into action. I followed step one and told my family that my goal was to cut down my complaining. (They probably were cheering, but had the common sense not to do it out loud in my presence.)

I then made a Complaint Vent Journal. It started out as a plain notebook with “Complaint Vent Journal” scrawled across the top, which should be good enough. The crafty side of me craved more, plus I had trouble remembering steps two through four, so I pasted them to the cover (along with a couple other complaint reminders).

Whenever my insides started boiling, I pulled out my journal and began venting. I enjoy journaling at night, but this was a place for me to be as negative as I needed throughout the day. Here’s where my mind training came in to play. After my rant, I chose one step from the journal cover. When I transformed a complaint into a solution, my vent about the lack of a traffic light on the corner of 159th street that caused an extremely long line of traffic, was followed by a plan to drive an alternate route. I changed a “have to” to “get to” by changing that I “have to” cook dinner each night to I “get to” cook dinner for my family. I’m blessed with plenty of food and a family to share it with.  I added a “but” with something positive when writing about the exhaustion I felt each day after work “but” I get to make a difference in the lives of autistic kids and earn an income.

Yes, it took extra time, but it was worth the effort. I tallied my complaints at the top of the page for each day. There was a significant decrease by the end of the week. You’re welcome, family.

 

7 Ways to Slash Complaining

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At dinner last night, my husband asked, “How was everyone’s day?” We go through this routine almost every night.

I couldn’t wait until it was my turn. I craved a chance to vent about my long list of troubles. “There was a substitute bus driver and he didn’t stop, so I had to chase him to get your daughter to school. Then traffic was crazy, and when I finally got to work I realized I forgot my lunch, so all that work packing it was a waste of time. Okay, it was just a yogurt and crackers because I was rushed, but still. And then one of our autistic students had a meltdown because I broke his piece of bread in half and he prefers it whole, and so most alexander-book-picof the other kids started screaming because of the noise…” On and on I ranted. It was seriously a case of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day spewing from my mouth.

 

I felt a little better after my tirade, but I noticed the damper I inflicted on dinner. I don’t like when my kids whine or complain, and yet here I was sucking the joy out of the room. Later that evening, I reflected on how my family and I could cut back on whining. Here are the seven methods I plan to use.

  1. Tell close family or friends about your decrease whining goal so you’re held accountable.
  2. Transform complaints into solutions. If there is something that will help the problem—do it.
  3. Change “have to” to “get to”.
  4. When you discover yourself whining, add a “but” and say something positive.
  5. Distance yourself from chronic complainers. (At least during your own complaint detox.)
  6. If you must vent, do it on paper so it doesn’t affect others.
  7. Don’t give up if you don’t suddenly stop whining. Keep trying.

I hope some of you will join me in this complaint slashing adventure. We have the power to make people actually glad they asked, “How was your day?”

7 Ways to Develop a Positive Attitude

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Forget the glass being half full analogy. Odds are, it’s just water in that glass, and while that’s vital to life, I crave a different image. Let’s imagine a Nutella jar. Ahh. Much better. If you unscrew that white lid and reveal a gold foil wrapper still intact it means the jar is completely full. No one has dipped a single spoonful of chocolate-hazelnut goodness from the jar.  Most of the time, I open the lid to discover someone has binged on the sweet treat, and the jar is half empty. I have to really work to see the jar as half full.

Sometimes having a positive outlook requires effort. There are a few people out there who are naturally positive people. My husband is one, bless him. It does not come naturally to me. It’s worth the effort however, as my kids are watching and learning by example. I need to model a positive outlook on life if I want to combat the negative viewpoint that oozes from so many songs and books today.

That’s easy to say…or write. But how can we develop a positive attitude? Here are 7 ways to get us on our way.

  1. Stop the stinking thinking. You have control over your thoughts. Catch them before they get off track and send you into a spiral.
  2. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Count your blessings. What are you thankful for?
  3. Accept that life isn’t fair and move on. God will help you through it.
  4. Get exercise. Release those endorphins. A workout or a walk outside can do wonders.
  5. Find a way to help others. It gets your mind off yourself.
  6. Stop whining and complaining. It brings others down.
  7. Pump in the good. Listen to positive music. Read a positive book. Talk to a positive person. Pray.

I can do this! And so can you. How’s that for being positive? Now, for a reward. I’m going to find some strawberries…and smother them in Nutella.