Sometimes when I’m feeling down or sorry for myself, it helps when I look at others. Hold on now. I don’t mean that it helps to compare and criticize, trying to prop up my own damaged ego. I’ve experienced that technique and it doesn’t help anyone.  Random group chat checks on my daughters’ phones reveal that sort of catty behavior is still rampant. Social media can be brutal.

Maybe this path is human nature, but it’s an aspect worth fighting. It helps when I look at others to see their needs and find ways where I can actually help. Instead of focusing on myself and wallowing in a pity party (yes, I’ve done that—ugh), I find happiness when I focus on others and search for ways where I can be an encouragement.

We have the ability to help others through our actions, regular volunteering, or donations. There are no pre-requisites. We don’t have to be rich to share a little food or money. We don’t need a degree to offer a kind word, or be super athletic to shovel someone’s snow-covered driveway. Our efforts may relieve physical need or be the encouragement someone needs. People sometimes just need to know that others care and recognize their existence.

There’s an added benefit that in helping others, we’re also helping ourselves. Have you ever felt a burst of happiness after performing a good deed? That’s actually a documented sensation known as “helper’s high”. When you do something good for someone else, your brain’s pleasure centers light up, releasing endorphins.

Helping others also provides a sense of purpose. We’re on earth to do more than satisfy our own wants and needs. Our lives have meaning when we positively impact others. When we finally crawl into bed at night, it feels good to think about ways we made a difference, rather than what we failed to accomplish. Sure, the healthy version of brownies that I attempted to make did not fool or please my family (no big surprise—the recipe incorporated black beans), but at least I sent that encouragement note to a friend going through a hard time. I did something to make the world a better place, and it feels great.

So when we struggle to find our positive attitude, we can look to others. Doing good will do us good.