At dinner last night, my husband asked, “How was everyone’s day?” We go through this routine almost every night.
I couldn’t wait until it was my turn. I craved a chance to vent about my long list of troubles. “There was a substitute bus driver and he didn’t stop, so I had to chase him to get your daughter to school. Then traffic was crazy, and when I finally got to work I realized I forgot my lunch, so all that work packing it was a waste of time. Okay, it was just a yogurt and crackers because I was rushed, but still. And then one of our autistic students had a meltdown because I broke his piece of bread in half and he prefers it whole, and so most 
of the other kids started screaming because of the noise…” On and on I ranted. It was seriously a case of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day spewing from my mouth.
I felt a little better after my tirade, but I noticed the damper I inflicted on dinner. I don’t like when my kids whine or complain, and yet here I was sucking the joy out of the room. Later that evening, I reflected on how my family and I could cut back on whining. Here are the seven methods I plan to use.
- Tell close family or friends about your decrease whining goal so you’re held accountable.
- Transform complaints into solutions. If there is something that will help the problem—do it.
- Change “have to” to “get to”.
- When you discover yourself whining, add a “but” and say something positive.
- Distance yourself from chronic complainers. (At least during your own complaint detox.)
- If you must vent, do it on paper so it doesn’t affect others.
- Don’t give up if you don’t suddenly stop whining. Keep trying.
I hope some of you will join me in this complaint slashing adventure. We have the power to make people actually glad they asked, “How was your day?”