Tag Archives: Suicide

The Signs

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I saw you last weekend. So brave and strong. Smiling even though your heart must still be aching.You didn’t bring up his suicide, so neither did I. Was that right? I don’t know. There probably isn’t a “right” in this situation. For now I will follow your lead.

I often think of my friends who have lost loved ones and realize that I could be in their position all too easily. The pressures we face can bury us if we try to carry the burden alone. I can’t imagine trying to navigate life without God carrying me and my family and friends holding my hands. It’s all just too much.

Whenever we hear about a suicide, it’s natural to go on high alert about our own loved ones. The counselor at my school shared some risk factors for suicide that I have filed into the back of my mind. These include:

  • mental illness
  • substance abuse
  • previous suicide attempts
  • hopelessness
  • access to lethal means
  • recent loss of loved ones
  • unemployment
  • vulnerability to self-harm

Warning signs for suicide include:

  • increased substance use (alcohol or drug)
  • no sense of purpose in life
  • anxiety or agitation
  • unable to sleep or sleeping all of the time
  • feeling trapped
  • withdrawal from friends, family, and society
  • rage, seeking revenge
  • acting reckless

None of us are to blame if someone decided to end it all, but being informed just might help us save a life. We can make a difference.

Worst Nightmare

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My worst nightmare became a horrifying reality to two nearby families this week.
I can’t imagine anything more painful than losing a loved one to suicide.
Words fail me.

Our school counselor gave a suicide prevention workshop this month. My mind could barely believe the statistics. Suicide claims around one million lives worldwide each year. That’s one suicide every 40 seconds. What?! On top of that, there are ten to twenty attempts for each completed suicide.

As staggering as those numbers are, they are just statistics until someone you know takes their life. What can I even say?

My words are shallow because the suicide dagger has never pierced all of the way into my immediate family—and I am so grateful. There have been close calls, and oh my, they sent my heart racing. I’ve spent many nights desperately praying for my loved one’s protection from depression’s claws. But thankfully they are still here for me to hold.

The only thing I can think to give to those who are grieving are thoughts from people who have actually endured the suicide of a loved one.

“Loss from suicide is like no other loss, and there’s no time limit for grieving. Allow yourself that time to process. And then talk to someone, anyone.” — Deenie Bagley

“The ‘ton of bricks’ that are thrust upon your shoulders by a loved ones’ suicide never goes away. But you do get stronger shoulders.” — Frank Kaufman

“Be patient with yourself. One day you’ll be able to celebrate the life and not focus on the method of death. Please, please, just be patient.” — Judi Swenson

For those of you still stuck in a nightmare: I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.