Gushing From Your Mouth

I know I shared a poem in my last blog, but I have one more poem to wrap up the time we’ve spent on active listening.  Maybe it will help you remember to use body language to show you’re listening. Active listening is truly a gift we can give to show others they are valued and we care.

LISTEN
©Tami Brumbaugh

Usually your quick wit is captivating
Gushing from your mouth like a compelling waterfall
I smile, eager to be pulled into the current

Often your words are soothing
Showering my parched soul with much needed rain
I uncross my arms, grateful to soak in every drop

Sometimes your discussion is informative
Spouting like a fountain of knowledge
I lean forward, inspired to dip my bucket for future use

Occasionally your chatter is repetitious
Flowing endlessly like a faucet with no shut-off valve
I nod, saturated but wringing out my clothes to take in more

Sporadically you complain or vent
Spewing unchecked from a broken pipe
I mirror your expression, sopping wet but determined to endure the storm

Through it all
You are worthy of my full attention
The world can wait
So let the words flow
I will listen

Jotting Notes

Active listening is all about keying in to the speaker and letting him or her feel like you value what they are saying. You can practice active listening anywhere and in any relationship. During this blog series, I talked about active listening on several fronts. I found this post the other day and thought maybe you or someone you know can relate to it.

 

 

Listening & Deflated Bread

My pumpkin bread recipe has fingerprints and batter splatters on it from years and years of use. I nearly have it memorized. But I have learned I can’t actively listen to someone and bake the sweat treat at the same time.

My guests often request pumpkin bread for breakfast, so during my brother-in-law’s most recent visit, I began measuring the flour and spices.  He chatted away, sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen. I contributed to the conversation and gave him as much eye contact as I could manage while stirring.

When I pulled the baked bread out of the oven, it resembled a deflated football. I scanned the recipe and realized I had forgotten the eggs. Ugh! I have since learned that my tired brain does better when I give people my undivided attention. I know this isn’t always possible because we have to cram so much into each day. Mom’s in particular have to become expert multi-taskers. But make every effort to truly focus on the speaker. It strengthens relationships because we are showing friends and family that we value what they are saying. (And because we don’t have to serve them pathetic-looking pumpkin bread.)

Here are 7 Ways to give your undivided attention:

  1. Put the devices away. Turn your phone face-down or in your pocket so you aren’t tempted to look at it. Close your laptop or turn away from your computer.
  2. Don’t multi-task. The long “to do” list can usually wait.
  3. Face the person who is speaking. It makes them feel important and helps you stay focused.
  4. Control your hands. Avoid doodling, playing with your hair, or fidgeting.
  5. Listen before speaking. Absorb what is being said instead of thinking about what you will say.
  6. Avoid interruptions. Silence your phone—including email and text alerts.
  7. Control your mind. Keep it from drifting to future plans or past events.